Why Every Real Estate Professional Needs a Mentor Right Now, with Lady Jen Du Plessis

0:02 I've been in the real estate business a long time. I've never before met a leadership discernment consultant. Really honored to have today a lady who I met through shout out to Dan Kapellen you know he was speaking so highly of his coach consultant and he was kind of explaining some of the things that he's done as a result of his guidance and I'm always interested to hear who whose people's mentors are either to learn from them and so on and I researched and reached out and was lucky enough to catch right before she's publishing a new book or release a new book Lady Jen Du Plessis who is a discernment coach. What's the DC for again? Remind me.

0:42 Yeah. No, I'm an executive leadership discernment advisor. I know it's a really long thing, but you know, I advise executive leadership on making better decisions.

0:54 And you know, I think I've met a lot of people who are coaches and a lot of them approached me over my career doing podcasts and a lot of them haven't done as much as I've done in real estate investing or business. You're obviously a very accomplished woman in terms of your real estate investment, your business investments, and your coaching. And so I think it's interesting. I guess the question for me is where does coaching other people fit in with all the things you have going on, the businesses you're running? How is that part of it? How does that figure into your

1:21 Yeah, that's interesting because you know, I only serve 12 people so that's where it fits in. I do feel that you have there what we don't have is infinite energy. Okay? We don't we don't have infinite time in that sense where we can do all the work you know and a lot of times people are working in hustle and they think they are the oneman band or the one lady band you know where they have to do everything but we don't have infinite energy but we can buy infinite time and that's scaling your business you know I'm known as the business scaling architect as the you know as well as the sovereign leadership mentor and recently someone gave me a title as I was walking on stage saying I know her as the velvet hammer and I was like oh boy. So now I'm that too. So I can be really friendly but be aware because I'm going to hold you accountable, right? But we can buy infinite time by building a team. And if we choose to be a solopreneur for the rest of our lives, that's certainly fine. U but just know you're going to be tired for the rest of your life and that's you know your decision. But you know growing your business and scaling your business involves other people. You can't do it alone. It takes a village. You've heard all these sayings before. In fact, I remember you know several years ago in the mortgage business I was at a big event and you know one of the top 200 loan officers in the country and everybody said, "Well, the only reason you're at the top is because you have a team." And I said, "Yeah, that's how it works, right? That's how it works." Yeah.

2:59 And so I coached 12 people. I advised 12 companies and I already built the empire years ago and have all the real estate and all that. I what was more important to me now is helping people you know create a legacy in their practice. You know that help them build in some cases and then and then create a legacy in the p in their practice where they can go from hands on to hands off. And a lot of that whole process is about making decisions. Whether you're the a baby entrepreneur, a baby real estate agent, you know, right from the very beginning, the decisions you make at one level are different at different levels. They have more risk associated. There's more of your reputation. There's people's livelihoods. There are a lot of elements as you grow up that ladder in success and in your practice that I found that people just lack the discernment, right, which is different than decision making, the discernment to make the better decisions and people were still following their gut or following their intuition, right? And so at these higher levels, it's a new skill set that people need to develop in addition to their traditional leadership and management skills as well.

4:22 And this is in a time when we've never had more free coaching available. And I mean I've always been a student. I've always been a reader. I've always been into personal development and business development.

4:36 Yeah. And you know when I find a topic, you know, I'm sometimes overwhelmed with how many different perspectives there are and none of them might be right for me. And that's the difference between having a personal relationship with a coach and general like for example, you know, building my I built my business on my YouTube channel. Most YouTube channel advice is on how to become a YouTuber, you know, how to make money on selling stuff on YouTube or

5:01 Right. Right. I'm running my business on YouTube. That's a holy almost all the advice you get is wrong yet you know and so when I coached people on my downline I have to like undo all the wrong information they think is so important

5:16 Right so talk a bit about how do you get you know and earn the credibility even people who love you swear by you I'm sure they watch a YouTube video that says you're wrong and they're going to argue with you or they're going to not maybe be as enthusiastic

5:29 Well and the person that introduced us together he's my biggest person who does that you know in all our coaching calls in our he's in a group program but in our coaching calls I'll say okay does anybody have any comments questions concerns complaints or compliments and he's like I don't agree with you about this one thing right and so what I see with coaches and I've had my own coaches I finally am to the place where you know I do I am involved in masterminds that's where I get my counsel and I'm involved with a mentor not a coach. And there's a big difference between that. Even an adviser, my level of advisory is different than mentoring. And so what I found is that everyone has this path that they take people through. And I get the client journey. You get it in real estate, right? There's a process, a buying process, a listing process. There's a process. But being able to deviate from that process to serve the needs of your client is key,

6:31 Right? That's key. So for me, because I'm able to see a 50,000 foot view and a zero, you know, foot view all at one time, I have a unique ability to do that. It's called mind mapping. But I have the ability to do that. I can see the where the challenge is in someone's business before they see it. I could tell them that's the problem, but they won't believe it until I walk them through a process where they discover it.

6:57 And so I gather information, we do assessments, right? And we go through a discernment process to make a decision. Then we can take action and then we can review that decision, right? To make sure it was a good decision. I'm not here to say that all decisions are good and all decisions are bad. That there's a process. It cannot you can't rely on just one piece of whatever drives you to make this. You know, I happen to be a medium and I'm clairvoyant. So, this helps me be able to do that, right? Happen to be a medium and clairvoyant. So for me it's feeling. How do I feel about it?

7:36 But I can't I you know I have a lot of real estate. I can't negotiate a deal based on feeling. Right. Right. And you tell your clients that you know when they're investors when you're buying your own house you have to feel it. Right. But when you're buy you're an investor you've got to take the feeling out and now you have to pull in some other ways to do it. And so for me, feeling's the number one. For my husband, it's completely different. It's consequences. What are the consequences if we do this? And I'm going, "Oh, but I feel it." And he's going, "But the consequences." Right?

8:08 And so there are six different things that we go through and adjectives to describe each of those that becomes uniquely theirs to make a decision about hiring or firing, right? Etc. I know the person who introduced us was is in the reverse mortgage space and this is a Reverse Mortgage Podcast. H how many mortgage, you know, what percentage of your consulting is or advising is with mortgage originators and or reverse mortgage originator specialists. Is that a key part of your business? Is that just one? He just happens to be

8:47 It just happen to be it just happens to be a business you know after spending 40 years in lending you know and being and funding over a billion dollars being in the top I've generated over $400 million in revenue and you know I just knew that business was business the product is it's inconsequential but because I come from mortgage and because I am a real estate investor I know that language very well but because I have four businesses that I run I know business language so Right.

9:16 It's putting those two together for Realtors®, you know, for Realtors® and mortgage loan officers and investors, too. I help investors with their businesses, so they're not a hobby. But I help I have a gosh, I'm trying to think. I have a chiropractor. I have a dentist. I have an online luxury furniture salesperson. I have entrepreneurs.

9:40 You know, I have trades, you know, like a roofing company and landscaping. So business is business to me and we're all making decisions.

9:49 So it seems to me, you know, I work, you know, in one business, but I have clients in so many different business as a result. That one thing that strikes me, it's never been easier to delegate to automation

10:06 Everything. But it's never been more important to have a relationship with your client or prospective client or referral sources or partners in your business. That connection has never been more valuable.

10:18 Yeah. And yet it there's so much technology to get out of I mean I don't know about you, but you know, I call somebody and get their chatbot like, "Well, I don't want to talk to you. Talk to me. I know. I'm not interested." How could you not talk to a prospective customer? Something's wrong. I get if you're selling bubble gum or hamburgers, but if you're talking about a in my case a transaction worth, you know, yeah, tens of thousands of dollars, if you can't comment on the phone, even in a reasonable time period,

10:46 I think we're missing out. Where did people go wrong on and I just see this all the time like hiding behind their technology as opposed to and I caught myself doing it one day. Realized all the automation I need to make more phone calls like when I do podcasts I used to use all the invite time was all automated and I said no I need to make a phone call and talk to people because that's the whole point is to meet people

11:10 Well that's because there's so much saturation you know I mean I've been podcasting for 16 years I'm one of the veterans I have five shows you know so I've got strong opinions about podcasting and you know no you know it's so saturated now with people clamoring to be on shows and not being prepared for shows, right? That's part of the thing that Yeah, I do a pre-interview for everybody. Nobody gets on my show just because they sent over an email, which by the way, I don't look at. But, yeah, I mean, these are really good points because we're we are at a pinnacle point in, you know, the marketplace or in society, in human nature, whatever you want to call it. I call it AI brain fry. The fact that we have AI at our fingertips and it can help us be more productive and precision driven. Why is it that credit card debt is so high and why is it that people are failing left and right in their businesses? And it's because we're relying on the automation and I again I love it. I use it every day. I love it. But I'm going to get back to discernment. When you set a prompt for AI to s research, you know, the web for the best cookie recipe out there and Sally, who's 13 years old, just put her website up this morning and AI grabs it and brings back and says, "Here's the best one." How do you know that you aren't getting opinion and advice and not counsel?

12:39 Right? And so this is where discernment comes in is, you know, AI is specifically prompted to not give you the negative, only the positive. Here's a good prompt. Ask AI where your blind spots are.

12:53 And it's it will tell you, but it is positive. It's like, oh, it's okay. You're blind, right? Blind spots here. But

13:02 I just showed you stop right there. I got that advice from somebody before and I did that and I didn't like it. And unlike a mentor or coach where you have a relationship with accountability, it's very easy just ignore the AI. Well, I don't want to talk about that. Versus, you know, if you were tell, yeah,

13:20 If you're on the phone with them for an hour or half hour, whatever it is, you're going to hear about it until you resolve it or the bottom line is we can't see our own ears, right? And AI can't see our ears either. Only a coach or mentor or someone who, you know, who's advising us can. But the challenge becomes at least in the higher levels and I can talk about the lower as well because I coach all of this but in the higher levels is a lack of understanding of chat right of AI and saying hey you know to some 23 year old and I don't mean it against anybody who's here okay but just hey go to AI and ask them how we should market our new product and then the person comes back they put some prompt in they come back and they go this is what AI said and oh good so if AI said it's good Right. Right.

14:05 That is not decision making. That's not discernment. That is not leadership. And good luck with your business because if you're going to let it, so you've got to counter punch, you know, go back and say, well, why did it say this? And what are considerations? Did they audit their look? Did they, you know, do all these different things. So, what we have is everyone jumping on to AI to be the thinking for them. And I'm still saying that we still need to have the discernment. It doesn't have that ability. Not like us, not from our it doesn't know our experiences. It knows us, but it doesn't know our experiences.

14:38 You know, famously, I think Steve Jobs is the one who said he's not making products the customers tell him they want. He knows what customers want. That's his gift. And I think for us, like in my business, you know, I've gone to AI to ask about how to market to say to my clients, attorneys, fiduciaries, they don't know because they don't market to them. I know because I work with them every day, you know, and I have a subset, right? The ones that are in California, not the ones that are national. And another subset, I'm a little older, so my clients tend to skew a little older and more mature. And another subset, I'm more, you know, intellectual versus emotional. And so they're more attracted to me as a result. So I know my clients better than

15:17 Than the AI. When I start asking you to do to replace me, I'm in trouble. But it won't because we're the only ones who have that mindset, right? As a species, we're the only ones that can decide. We're the only ones.

15:32 But when I tell it to do what I know it should do, the results are amazing. And we confuse that with the knowledge with just the work. Like they're just it's just they're just our little worker bots. They do a great job.

15:44 Yeah. Well, that and you know, we're aging out, right? The baby boomers are still aging out at 10,000 10,000 a day. You know, 10,000 a day, which I remember the statistic with 15 years ago was 10,000 a day, right? And so we're aging out at 10,000 a day and that knowledge is not being captured.

16:04 Correct. Right. And we have a lot of families, family-owned businesses where the parents want to leave the business, but the kids have seen how difficult and sacrifices and how rough it was to build that business and the parents aren't ready for AI, right? They're still fighting against it and the kids are saying, "But we should use it." But they're using their expertise and knowledge and experience and the kids are using but AI said right

16:31 Right and it's how do we pull that together otherwise all that work those babies that you built you know it's my baby all of that will go by the wayside and the kids will just move on to some other thing so I think we're we have a situation where that knowledge needs to be transferred and it's just not being trans AI can't transfer what how I would answer a question it might guess at how I would answer a question and I've done that. I've said I'm going to be on this podcast. They ask me all these questions. How would I answer them,

17:02 You know, and look at it and I say, "Oh, that's interesting." But I wouldn't answer it that way. Right? So, it's again just it's resisting and pushing back a little bit on AI to make sure that it's not making all of your decisions that you're making your decisions.

17:17 And that's just one aspect of it. It you know, it's also delegation. Who do I delegate to? When do I delegate to? When do I grow? When should I scale? When should I introduce a new product? When should I let go of another product? What niche should I be in? What niche shouldn't I be in? Should I do sales? Should I do listings? Should I do investments? I don't know. But it can't make those decisions for us. And it never will be able to because it can only do what we ask it to prompt. And

17:46 Yeah, I think the most challenging decision for a real estate agent, for a mortgage professional, for a reverse mortgage professional is when do I hire my first assistant?

17:56 Yeah. And I think with AI and with virtual assistants, there's like intermediate steps one can take, but at some point there's no there's no substitute for a person who's really committed to your business. Talk a bit about that process. How's that like me been on for a while?

18:12 How's that process changed? And how do you see most people either, you know, making that step successfully or falling short? Well, that's a really loaded question because it's got a lot of different answers in it. So, you know, as I answer questions, you'll see me discerning, right? But it's very it's very loaded. I have a motto in my practice called in, you know, stop working in and on your business so that you can begin living above and beyond it. I like that. Whoa. One more time.

18:42 Stop working in and on your business because we all know don't work in your business. Work on your business. Right. So I don't believe you should be in either of those. In is all about yourself. You're the oneman band. On is your methods, your systems. The only way you can bring that first person on, regardless of who it is what's the system,

19:01 Right? You have to build a system. If you don't have a system, you can ask AI to start building it, but you still have to go through and make decisions about where things go. Okay? So, you still have to build your system. Most people have the system in their head. And that's the fatal flaw and why we have this oscillation between in and on and in. And I tried to hire, they were terrible. I tried to hire, they were,

19:23 They aren't terrible, you're terrible. No more fingerpointing, thumb pointing. I wasn't ready. I didn't have my systems laid out. I thought they were super nice. And so I hired them and I found a spot for them, right? And we all know back, go back years, right? Back years when you would walk into an office and there was a new copier from your past office and you had no clue how to use the copier, right? It's a copier, but this one had different buttons and different things and different places for the paper to fit in. So when you hire someone for social media, they know how to do it from the previous job they had and their skills. They don't know how to do it with you. You have to walk them through it, right? So even if you're hiring AI,

20:05 So that's the in and on. So once you have your systems in place, that's managing methods. So that the in is managing me myself, right? The second is I'm managing methods. So that's where you're building the systems. You're having them build. They're you're having them give you feedback and you know, perspective on what's working, what should be swi switched around. And then you do a leap of faith and say, "You know what? I'm going to try to hire more people so that they are empowered rather than enabled." And when they're empowered, they don't drag me back into the office to solve a problem. They don't text me, email, call me, try to, you know, hunt me down to solve one little silly problem that I want them to be able to do. So that's where the empowerment comes in. And in empowerment, there's three Vs. What are your core values for your business? What is your voice for your business? Right? The voice and what is the vision for your business? And if you know, first of all, you know, you have to know your core values.

21:05 I hope you do, but you got to know what they are. First, your personal core values. Then what are your business core values? What is the vision for the company? I'm not talking mission statement. I'm talking what is the vision for the company? Where do you want it to go? What's the reputation? Etc. And then the voice, right? What is the voice? Are you are you friendly? Are you not friendly? Are you to the point? To your point, you said, "I'm very intellectual and less emotional." So, is that how you work with your clients? And if someone comes in and they're very emotional and they go, "Oh, that's okay. I'm so sorry you feel so bad. I'll make sure that he apologizes to you." And you're like, "I'm not apologizing to anybody because I'm intellectual." Right. So you have to

21:46 I'm married so I have to apologize once. Oh, that's right. Because everything we say is right. So, you know, but what is your voice? Do you use emojis? Are you a phone call person? Are you an email? Are you a quick, you know, are you bottomliner? Do you like to explain things? Once your team understands your core values, once they understand the vision, once they understand your voice, they don't need you,

22:10 Right? And then you can go beyond. And beyond is just going out and marketing yourself more, maybe starting another business, maybe sleeping in till noon. It's traveling. It's your beyond. That's success,

22:23 Right? So, I'm answering that question from that perspective, right, of knowing that's the process and the and the way that it happens.

22:34 The other perspective is I know the E-Myth says your first hire should be an administrative assistant. I don't agree. Again, this is what's good for me, what's good for you,

22:46 Not what's good for everybody who reads a book. Right. Right. And so, one of my clients you know, she ha she has an online very high-end luxury furniture store that she has and she was trying to compete with Wayfair and Amazon. And I said, "But you're not them. You have high-end luxury. You're for just luxury houses, luxury people, a disposable income where they want this one piece that they can talk about. And the first the lowest piece is three grand for a little end table. Okay.

23:19 But I always look at it as a ashtray table because remember our parents had that little ashtray table. Of course, that little one like a little ashtray table. Three grand for an ashtray table. But

23:30 It's created and built in a sustainable way. Everything that she sells goes to the UN, you know, percentage goes to the UN. They plant trees and so it's all this really cool stuff. And her challenge when she came to me is I need more leads. I need to sell more. And so she was hiring these virtual assistants in all different countries. So she was freaking out because I don't know what time zone I'm supposed to talk to them and where do I talk to them and oh they're not awake right now. I can't get anything done. And she has three children and her husband works at the Pentagon and so she's got to she's got to be the mom and the dad all at the same time plus run this seven-figure business.

24:08 Wow. And no and just having this team of people that aren't really doing anything. And she said, "We're just not getting the sales." And the problem was not hiring more people. That was not the problem. It was the people that she hired weren't in the right positions and doing the right things. But she's got three kids and one is special needs. She has to drive 40 minutes to drop them off at a special school and then back home. 40 minutes to pick them up and back home.

24:38 Her first hire, I said, "Here's your first hire. We're hiring a house manager." Yeah. That's who we're hiring. They're going to do all the cooking and cleaning and picking up of kids and filling out of forms and oh my gosh I forgot and you know making the beds and doing all that so that when they come home [sighs and gasps] you take a breath

24:59 Nice and you're with your family. So that answers the second part of who do we hire right when you need to hire some words that will come out of your mouth. I'm tired of being tired. Oh my gosh, everything's slipping through the cracks, right? I don't have enough time. That'll be the biggest one. I don't have time to do that. How do you have all this time? Well, I hired people so that I have infinite time.

25:24 That's how I do it. Right. Every time I hire someone, I get 20 hours back. Every time I hire 40 hours, I get 40 hours back. And I don't even need all the hours. I have infinite time.

25:34 Right. So, I hope that answers it. That there are three kinds to it. I think and I think that the thing I try to tell people is there's multiple ways to get there. I agree with you. Hiring a first assistant. If you don't have the systems, the vision, and the values to use your terminology, then it's just a nightmare hiring that first assistant because now you know a new task which is filling them up with something to do and feeling important. And I think nowadays with virtual assistants and automation, you can create those pieces and prepare for hiring somebody if you need somebody around physically, you can prepare to get that done properly.

26:11 Yes, parttime virtual assistants and can take off pieces of the puzzle. And I've done that. I have eight virtual assistants. I don't I don't have any employees, but for me, it's worked really well, but more technical than most people and most people can't do some of those.

26:24 Well, and I think that's, you know, for me, it's lean and mean, right? You know, I have a handful of virtual assistants. I have probably eight or nine AI assistants, but they're helping my virtual assistants.

26:37 Yes. That's what's so good about it, you know, because I still need that human interaction. Yeah. And I, you know, it's going to be to each his own, whatever is going to work for everybody. But I will tell you this, if you're a solopreneur and you think that the end-all be-all is going to be AI, it's not.

26:56 Yeah. I don't it's not Yeah. Not in most business. I'm sure there's exceptions, but And you're going to do all kind Well, there's fractional AI. My clients, we hire a fractional AI to come in and work in different departments, but it's the issue is that you can you're creating so much. Have you ever gotten into AI and you're like, "Oh, they mentioned this. I wonder if I should do that. Maybe I can build that. Well, now let me go over here and have this AI working. Well, I have this AI working." and then I'm counterbalancing them and I'm maybe I should do that. So now you're in this creation mode and never in implementation.

27:33 And that's why we're seeing AI brain fry where people are creating but not implementing and their practices are circling the drain right in front of them.

27:44 Right. Well, you know, you obviously bring a really wide perspective to business and to real estate and mortgages, reverse mortgage in particular. And, you know, I, you know, we've spoken a few times. I always feel like I learned so much. But I'm coming kind of the end of the time. I know you're busy. I know you have a bunch of podcasts lined up as well. So, I just want to thank you for your time. For somebody who's interested, I know you have a book launch. Can you give us a just a minute or two on your book and what that's about and where people can

28:12 Yeah, this is kind of an interesting book. Yeah, it's an interesting book. It's the third in a series. It's called Impact and it's an acronym for inspiring, motivational, powerful acronyms for cognitive thinking. And it's a collab book. I'm the I'm the lead in it. And the only reason why I'm doing this third one is because Brian, the great Brian Tracy, which everybody, you know, knows Brian. He wrote Eat That Frog and other leadership books. He told me, "You got to have three." And I said, "Well, I'll have the third if you're in it."

28:38 So he's So he's a celebrity author in it. Les Brown is Sharon Lechter, who co-wrote Rich Dad Poor Dad, Marie Diamond. So yeah, so they're in the book as well. They contributed chapters to it. So we're releasing September 15th and we'll definitely go number one, but it'll be interesting to see how this trilogy, you know, happens. And then November 2nd is International Day of Impact. And although the chapters may not align with the ne you know international day of impact we're going to have an impact aathon where all of the authors from all three of the books will be coming in and doing little mini TED talks about the impact they're making in the world with whatever it is they're doing. So we're excited about that.

29:22 And then I'm in the midst of writing another book that I'll have. But my original book is called Launch: How to Take Your Business to New Heights. If you're a new real estate agent or you know what even if you're seasoned because I've coached so many over 8,000 over 8,000 Realtors® in my career and I've said I have said to them read the book because there's a trick and a tip and a strategy and a tactic in there that you haven't thought about. It's a great you know kind of a workbook for you just open it up in the morning and go oh I could do that today you know that could be a new thing I could do. So, but yeah, it'll be coming out, my new one will be coming out sometime around March. Haven't figured out what the title is yet, but it'll be about a leadership and, know where we're at in today's world. So, yeah.

30:08 Well, exciting. If you want more Lady Jen, the website is ladyjenduplessis.com. Thank you so much for being on today. Just amazing overview. I think I think more than anything I think in talking to you the part-time and getting ready for this call today, you really kind of caused me and hopefully people watching this to just really think about what's a lot more possible than what we're doing for. I think it's one thing to call you up and say, "How can I increase my business 10 20%." Which is nice, but really like why am I sitting here? Why am I not 10 times and making a much bigger impact? And you've definitely opened my eyes in a number of areas and I you know look forward to continuing our journey together. So, thank you so much to Dave and also for making the introduction and thanks for joining us today, Lady Jen. I appreciate it.

30:54 Thank you. And frankly, this was the Reverse Mortgage Podcast where, you know, this is a woman who's really coaching, mentoring, one of the top reverse mortgage originators in the business, and you can see why. She's a big thinker, a lot of great ideas. Hope you found interesting as I did. Love to get your comments, feedback. Reach out if I can help at Bill Gross Probate on social media. And as always, make today your best day ever. Thanks so much.